Changes

Life seems to be going in so many different directions. It's been hard to get into any specific routines. I'm learning that things aren't as easily planned or carried out as they used to be. Bed time is whenever we get the chance to go, and never at the same time, or even together. It's impossible to have a set schedule cause each day is different. It gets exhausting sometimes trying to keep up with the fast pace of parent hood and trying to find some kind of balance with all other areas in our lives. There doesn't seem to be one. It all seems to be revolving around our new baby. Not that I'm complaining, I love him more every day. I will be glad though when he starts sleeping through the night and things settle down to somewhat normal. Whatever that is. I will especially be glad when I can fall asleep with my husband and be awake during the same hours.... Well, Ethan calls.

another lonely day

It's been five weeks since my son Ethan was born. I love him with my entire heart and soul. He is growing so fast. It amazes me sometimes when I look at him.

My husband, Matthew is wonderful. I am so blessed to have met him and to be lucky enough that he loves me as much as I do him. He's been watching our son at night so that I can sleep. I take over in the morning. The hard thing about this is I don't get to see him very much. I miss him. I know he misses me too. It's getting tough.

I'm sitting here in this dim lit room feeling pretty lonely. The tv is on for background noise. Ethan is sleeping peacifully beside of me. He's my only company right now. My sweet, sleeping baby. It's getting darker outside. Almost time for the shift change. I'll get to see my husband for just a small amount of time. It's like that movie "LadyHawke" with Michelle Pfeiffer. Two lovers seperated by night and day. Okay, so I'm getting tired and just babbling now.

Not that anyone will read my babbles. This is just something for me to do to keep from going nuts.